Only Golden Fingers Could Play So Heavy
A Rock Opera and Play

By

Roger Linder


The Story of the Legendary I Mall

1953-2028

The events depicted in this theater presentation are fictional and any similarity to other events occurring between 1953 and the present is purely coincidental. All characters are also fictional, including those of Ike Eisenhower, Bert Einstein, Chuck Ives and Todd Rundgren. Any similarity between these characters and the actual persons whose names I have borrowed is unintentional and purely coincidental.

Special thanks to Todd Rundgren (a personal idol) and Zoo World Magazine who played an important part in the formulation of the latter part of Act II.

R.D.L.
The Players
I Mall

Juliette Mall/Angela Jones Mall

Henry Mall/Todd Rundgren

Dr. David Orson/Rod Manger

Ike Eisenhower/Spike Jones

Bert Einstein/Isaac Daly

Chuck Ives/Osgood Martin

Judith Abrey (video appearance)/Rocky's Mother

Hardy Rochester/Hardy Rochester II (Video appearance)

William Graham III (Video appearance)

Network Voice

Rocky (Non-speaking part)

Other Non-speaking Parts

Clown I

Clown II

Mixed Chorus (Out of which is lifted the female chorus for "When The Kid Gets Heavy")

General Description of Scenes

Act I
1953Scene one - A hospital room/ A delivery room
1953Scene two - Waiting room adjoining hospital room
1953Scene three - Hospital room
1953Scene four - Hospital room
1963Scene five - The playground at the local school
1963Scene six - The Mall Home (living room and outdoors)
1968Scene seven - I's bedroom
Act II
1974Scene one - The living room of a house where the band practices
1974Scene two - The stage of an auditorium
1975Scene three - Back stage and main stage of an auditorium
1975Scene four - Back stage of an auditorium
1984Scene five - Living room of I Mall's house
2015Scene six - Living room of I Mall's house
2017Scene seven - I.B.C. Network studio
2019Scene eight - Stage of an auditorium
2019Scene nine - Back stage of the auditorium

musical selections

PRELUDE
Henry, Juliette

OVERTURE
instrumental

I'S BIRTH
Dr. Orson

THE DREAM
Juliette, I

I.B.C. NEWS
Hardy, Juliette

THREE KINGS OF THE EAST
Ike, Bert, Chuck

PRESIDENTIAL PROCLAMATION
Ike, Aides

ARE YOU GONNA STAY?
I, Spike, Isaac, Osgood

CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU
Henry, Juliette

MUSIC WILL BE MY LIFE
I

CLARINET PLAYER
I

WHEN THE KID GETS HEAVY
I, female chorus

GOLDEN FINGERS THEME
I, group

TODAY
I, group

A MOST AMAZING MAN!
I

ONLY GOLDEN FINGERS COULD PLAY SO HEAVY
I

ROCK AND ROLL FOOL
I

A MOST AMAZING MAN?
Spike, I

IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU
I, Angela

WORLD REFORM
I

SOAP BOX STORY
I

REUNION CHORUS
Golden Fingers

A KING'S FAREWELL
I

HOMAGE TO A KING
Chorus

FINALE: THE NEW KING
instrumental

THE STORY OF I

Mrs. Mall gives birth
New king on Earth
I is his name
Rock is his game
Visited by kings
Causes them to sing

I goes to school
Breaks golden rule
Bullies his friends
Friendless at end
I is heartsick
Takes up music
Learns clarinet
Soon bored with it
Learns the guitar
Envisions a star
Joins band on bass
Soon well-known face

Can't seem to stop
Name hits the top
I starts to slump
Given the bump
I broken-hearted
As when he started
I takes a wife
Changes his life
I thinks "World Reform!"
I is reborn

I works for Todd
Gives him the nod
I leaves the scene
Peaceful, serene

Considers reunion
Takes new dominion

I ends his reign
New king born again.